In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Decisions, Decisions.”
Oh the glory of heart, if it can only ever decide?
How many time have we ladies despaired over the fickle status of a lump of muscle? Personally, I have stopped counting the day my fingers fell short.
My mom calls me emotional and naive. One of my really good friends has always referred to me as emotionally extreme. Since the start of my college, he has always reprimanded me for being “too emotional” as a result of which I am always judgemental, and end up disappointing my own high expectations. It took numerous bad decisions, countless regrets and hours of overflowing tears and loud lamenting for me to finally realise the truth in his words.
I think by my heart and make decisions after reasoning with both heart and the brain. I think that’s why I ramble often. You see, I need to know that my heart agrees with my conscience. I have often jumped in a new venture or adventure with both feet, and landed on my face. But except for the waste of time I haven’t regretted any of decisions. Touch wood. But I have definitely wondered if maybe things would be different if I just stopped letting emotions rule my life. But it was definitely a surprise when in the last two years I have been called out as emotionally stunted. I am not a cold-hearted bitch, at least not yet. I have just become more private about my emotions. I think when you are disappointed often, you decide to shield yourself. I still think by my heart, but now I process every feeling and their consequences, imagine the worst case scenarios, think about myself and then take the flying jump. Well I don’t know if it makes me cold or aloof, but I haven’t compromised my happiness in the last two years and that’s all that matters.