If only it was one

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Breakdown.”

If only a person can be perfect!!!

I am aware of the faults that I feel genuinely needs to be changed. But over time, mostly over a course of a vast dating history, the list has just grown longer I feel. It’s definitely larger than what a royal feast looks like.

 At least that’s what it appears like in my head.

Let’s make an attempt to track this list (I think I want to try the whole alphabetical thing)

  1. Adamant.  Hell will break loose if you are trying to change my mind about something which I have decided that I am going to do. More prominent at inebriated state of mind. I have scaled it down to being plain, good-old Stubborn now. Does that count?
  2. Arrogant. I was told by the dean of my college that I am arrogant and have problem with authority figure (I do not think so. He was just a Class- A ……) for calling the college and his curriculum incompetent.
  3. Bitch. Not related to the Animal Planet at all. Thank god. But apparently I have a face that says “Fuck Off” and it becomes prominent when people irritate me further. Well, I have tried to be nice to people, but there are some who just don’t see the hard work and effort I am putting in being nice, and hence I have to revert back to my bitch face often. The face has however helped me when I do not want unwanted attention, especially when I am solo tripping with a itch feet.
  4. Cold. I have previously spoken about this in one of my post. Often I have been called as cold and emotionally stunted. Apparently people are not able to approach me because of that. My loved ones have found me to be too clinical when it comes to dealing with emotions. Well, I am definitely not emotionally stunted. 
  5. Egoistic. I have a ego. A tiny bit one. Not that big. But it’s definitely there. And it pokes his head out when I am offended with someone. I don’t know how to say sorry. And if this gets fixed I will definitely be a better person. 
  6. Frustrated. I spend most days frustrated. And it is not that hard to achieve that. I like it when things are easy and I grt my way. But life is never so. However, my blog has provided me with the biggest outlet for it. So I am definitely hoping for the best.
  7. I do not believer or know how to forgive and forget. My mother has been asking me to learn how to do that. But it has been largely unsuccessful attempt on my part. 
  8. Irritable. I get irritated very easily. And that is why I am often frustrated. I am still working on it. Let’s see how this under-constructed road works.
  9. Moody. People usually don’t know what to do and how to deal with me when I am having one of my moods. I am very unpleasant at such times and usually prefer to be alone at that time. Another thing that I am working on. I shall definitely keep you updated. 
  10. Quitter. I am very flighty when it comes to sticking to one single objective. I have quit numerous blogs because I wasn’t consistent enough. I quit my relationships because things are not working my way. Like I said very flighty. 
  11. Pride. Not my pride, but I ike to uphold the pride that my mother has for me. And I do not like it when somebody tries to hurt that. 
  12. Temper. I get angry very easily. I used to be called a short fuse back at school. I have had anger management classes also. It has slightly made it better, but so far it hasn’t completely shown its effect 

 That’s a huge list isn’t it? 

Faults are part of a person’s identity. However, when faults become prominent it definitely becomes detrimental to their growth and success. 

I used to be a judgemental person. But then I realised who has given me the right to judge somebody? I have plenty to sit and worry about. I know I can be a better person. And rectifying even a single fault of mine will take me in the right direction. And that’s what I aspire – a better person. Let’s hope I succeed in this endeavour. 

4 thoughts on “If only it was one

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